To be sure, I stand on the edge of DM’ing OHAH for the second time, a terrified person. To recap, my first time DM’ing was valuable learning, but destroyed a lot more than it hoped to build, so I decided that I’d try to rebuild it and do it right.
I was working on some things last night and wound up having an onset of anxiety about the outcome of the campaign. I have two more players than I did last time and I’ve tried to follow the rules this time to the letter where I can and just… I don’t want to mess it up.
That’s all, really: I don’t want to mess it up.
I wrangled over whether or not I should just give the ranger in our group a pet or give them Find Familiar, but that’s for Wizards and not rangers and I’m the DM so I should just be able to do what I want except I can’t because that’s how I messed things up the last time I did this and maybe I should just give them a pet or customize what they get at level three since they get a pet anyway rather than worry about them having two pets and why is this so very difficult I just want someone to have a magical animal at some point and not break a rule but I have to pore over every single one because when I didn’t do it and I did what I wanted to do without regard to rules IdestroyedpeopleandIfeelendlesslyresponsibleforitevenknowingthatsomepartsofwhathappenedaren’tmyfault.
If this is what anxiety is like, then God grant me the strength to make it until Friday without suffocating in unnecessary guilt.